It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken
by Greg Behrendt and Amira Ruotola-Behrendt
There's no doubt about it-breakups suck. But in the first few hours or days or weeks that follow, there's one important truth you need to recognize: Some things can't and shouldn't be fixed, especially that loser who dumped you or forced you to dump him. It's over for a reason, and deep down inside you probably know what that reason is.
At the end of the day, it's about weather YOU like yourself enough to face the reality that your romance wasn't working.. to recognize that it wasn't giving you what you needed and deserved
Life's biggest rewards come from the biggest challenges.
Anyone who assesses you or your relationship as "disposable" is not worthy of your time or tears.
Just remember, though, that any reasons you come up with are ultimately irrelevant. The harsh reality is that even if you have EVERYTHING else in common, the one thing you don't have in common is the belief that this relationship can work. & that alone trumps your shared love of puppies, The Dave Matthews Band, and Mexican food.
A lot of the pain you are experiencing right now is actually fear. Fear of things being different then how you liked them, fear of never finding love again, fear of being alone, fear of having to fill your time differently. We're afraid of the unknown.
The person you loved took a good long look at the awesomeness that is you, evaluated your relationship together, and said, "No, thanks. I'll try my luck elsewhere." Or you said it to him. Either way, that alone should make you realize that it wasn't a match made in heaven
"I don't know" means "NO!"
"I don't know" means "I'm too cowardly to tell you the truth because I can't deal with confrontation."
"I don't know" means please do the dirty work for me because I don't want to hurt your feelings even more then I already have.
Awesome thought: The annoying thing that your ex did will never bother you again. I'm sure that your plan to get him back worked out in your head. I'm even sure that it worked out in some movie you saw. But your ex does not have the time to follow a movie script and you shouldn't either. Move on.
Every moment of pain, weakness, and discomfort puts you in a position to choose how you will react and how you will alleviate your condition. Calling him doesn't make it better.. it only pulls you back into the cycle of heartbreak.
He is the past. You are the future.
Messing up his life isn't the best revenge. It's getting on with yours and living it to the fullest.
One of the suckiest and most frustrating facts of life is that sometimes relationships just end, often without reason. I truly believe that sometimes both men and women simply run out of love, even when there was a lot of it in the beginning.
Before you look for validation in others, try and find it in yourself.
As much as it sucks, you need to FORCE yourself to remember your very worst times together, ..his most irritating habits and the hard truth that not only can he live without you.. but he'd rather.
You're giving an okay guy who cheats on his girlfriend a hell of a lot more credit then he deserves. He's a coward and a betrayer of not one but TWO women. He clearly feels ambivalent about you at best.. otherwise, he would have left this other woman a long time ago.
So many of us find ourselves saying "BUT HE WAS SO GREAT!" Yes, and the people who got on the Titanic thought they were going on vacation. Things changed and it's important to remember that they did.
Awesome thought: The right guy is out there right now, wondering when he's going meet someone just like you.
His regrets or lack thereof are exactly that- his . and not even the best little black cocktail dress can change that.
Every time you see him, you only make yourself vulnerable to further heartache. Do you really need further proof that he's getting on with his life without you?
The one who dumped you has had a huge head start on the healing. However long he entertained ending the relationship is also how long he's been emotionally extracting himself from you.
He was either partially or totally over it before you even knew it was going down
You weren't in the same relationship. That should answer ALL your questions.
You can love your friends.. ..you can love your family ... you can even love every stray dog or stray drummer that crosses your path. HOWEVER, you have to learn how to love yourself, like yourself, and put yourself first before you will ever find the healthy, loving, and lasting relationship that you've been looking for.