Joey: Some girl ate Monica.
Monica: Shut up, the camera adds ten pounds.
Chandler: Ahh, so how many cameras are actually on you?
Monica: Oh, um, that was my bathing suit from high school. I was uh, a little bigger then.
Chandler: Oh, I thought that's what they used to cover Connecticut when it rained.
Joey: What is with your nose?
Rachel: They had to reduce it because of, of my deviated septum.
Chandler: OK, I was wrong, that's what they used to cover Connecticut.
Ross: I don't know what to do. What am I gonna do? I mean, this, this is like a complete nightmare.
Chandler: Oh, I know. This must be so hard. Oh, no. Two women love me. They're both gorgeous and sexy. My wallet's too small for my fifties, and my diamond shoes are too tight
Joey: That's how they do pants! First they go up one side, they move it over, they go up the other side, they move it back, and then they do the rear. What? Ross, Ross, would you tell him? Isn't that how they measure pants?
Ross: Yes, yes it is. In prison! Whatsa matter with you?
Joey: Hey, Chandler, when you see Frankie, tell him Joey Tribbiani says hello. He'll know what it means.
Chandler: Are you sure he's gonna be able to crack that code?
Chandler: Anybody know a good tailor?
Joey: Needs some clothes altered?
Chandler: No, no, I'm just looking for a man to draw on me with chalk.
Joey: Why don't you go see Frankie? My family's been goin' to him forever. He did my first suit when I was 15. No wait, 16. No, 'scuse me, 15. All right, when was 1990?
Chandler: You have to stop the Q-tip when there's resistance!
::chosing between baby wearing clown pajamas or duck pajamas::
Chandler: we're gonna flip for the baby?!!
Joey: you got a better idea?
Chandler: call it in the air...
Chandler: heads! yes!
Chandler: we have to assign heads to something!!!
Joey: okay well ducks will be heads, because well, ducks have heads
Chandler: what kind of scary ass clowns came to your birthday?