Phoebe: But there's a whole table of mini-muffin baskets. Which one did you send?
Ross: The small one.
Rachel: What?! You-you actually thought that basket was gonna get you the apartment?
Ross: Well yeah! Someone sent us a basket at work once and people went crazy over those little muffins. It was the best day.
Chandler: Your work makes me sad.
Joey: Ross? You okay?
Ross: They're still, they're still not coming on man and the lotion and the powder have made a paste!
Joey: Really?! Uhh, what color is it?
Ross: What difference does that make?!
Joey: Well, I'm just -- if the paste matches the pants, you can make yourself a pair of paste pants and she won't know the difference!
Ross: All right, we'll start off slow. The only thing you have to do tonight is come up with the name of your main character.
Ross: And it can't be Joey.
Joey: It's not.
Ross: Or Joseph.
Ross: Y'know what? I'm gonna go out on a limb and say no divorces in '99!
Rachel: But your divorce isn't even final yet.
Ross: Just the one divorce in '99! Y'know what, I am gonna be happy this year. I am gonna make myself happy.
Chandler: Do you want us to leave the room, or?
Ross: Everyday I am gonna do one thing that I haven't done before. That my friends is my New Year's resolution.
Phoebe: Ooh! That's a good one! Mine is to pilot a commercial jet.
Chandler: That's good one too, Pheebs. Now all you have to do is find a planeload of people who's resolution is to plummet to their deaths.
Joey: (In a high pitched female voice) Hello Mr. Bing...I love you.
Chandler: Alright, whoever this is, stop calling me! It's been six months! It's not funny!
Joey:But, I love you.
Chandler:Leave me alone! For the love of God, leave me alone!!! (Joey hangs up.)
Joey:And that's Wednesday.
Joey: That's it! I'm tired of covering for you two! This has got to stop! (Realizes he still has the underwear in his hand.) Ahh! And tighty-whiteys! What are you, 8?- Friends, Season 5
Ross: Really?! So what would you say Pheebs? Stuff like uh, "Keep your mitts off my grub?"
Chandler: Say Ross, when you picture Phoebe living on the street, is she surrounded by the entire cast of Annie?
Chandler: Well, I see you've had a very productive day. Don't you think the cowboy hat is a little much?
Ross: (popping up behind Joey wearing an Indian headdress) Come on, it's fun!
Chandler: All right! (He joins them in the fort and comes up putting on a bonnet.) Isn't this a woman's hat?
Joey: Dude, stop talking crazy and make us some tea!
Phoebe: What am I sitting on?
Chandler: Top of the world? Dock of the bay? ..eh I'm out.
Ross: Pheebs are you wearing fur?
Phoebe: Okay, let's get some perspective people; it's not like I'm wearing a seeing-eye dog coat!
Joey: You're fake laughing too, right?
Chandler: Oh, the tears are real.
Monica: Look, these clowns are trying to take us for a ride and I'm not gonna let 'em! And we're not a couple of suckers!
Chandler: I hear ya, Mugsy!
Joey: Well uh, I don't know about who's here, but I can tell you for damn sure who's not here and that's Rachel!!
Emily: Well, I should hope not. Ross knows better than that by now.
Ross: Y'know what? Uh, Rachel is here!
Emily: She's there?!
Chandler: Oh yeah, there-there she is!
Monica: Ooh, chocolates on the pillows! I love that!
Chandler: Oh, you should live with Joey, Roll-os everywhere.
Joey: You don't know how long we're gonna be in here! We may have to repopulate the Earth.
Chandler: And condoms are the way to do that?
Joey: Monica? What time is it?
Chandler: Uhh, 9
Joey: But it's dark out.
Monica: Well that's because you always sleep to noon, silly! This is what 9 looks like.
Joey: I guess I'll get washed up then. Watch that sunrise.
Joey: You think I need a new walk?
Joey: Well y'know, I’ve been walking the same way since high school. Y'know, y'know how some guys they walk into a room and everybody takes notice. I think I need a ‘take notice’ walk.
Chandler: Are you actually saying these words?
Frank: Chandler's a girl!
Chandler: Oh God, kindergarten flashback.
Frank: They musta read the sonogram wrong. 'Cause they, 'cause they thought it was a boy, but Chandler's a girl! Chandler's a girl!
Chandler: Okay, keep saying it!
Joey: And you don't a little good about donating the money?
Phoebe: No, it sucks. I was saving up to buy a hamster.
Joey: A hamster? What, those things are like 10 bucks.
Phoebe: Yeah, not the one I had my eye on.
Rachel: Okay, you're coming with me, and I also told them that if we're still here when they get off that we'll go down to the cafeteria and have some Jell-O with them.
Joey: (in a sexy voice) Yep! There's always room for Jell-O...
Rachel: Joey, how do you make that dirty?
Joey: Oh, it's easy. Yeah, I-I can do it with anything. Watch uh, (snaps his fingers and in a sexy voice) Grandma's chicken salad...
Ross: No, not since I lost her at the airport.
Chandler: I can't believe she can out run you man!
Ross:HEY, SHE'S FAST!! OKAY?!! (Chandler is so shocked at Ross's outburst that he drops his spoon and backs up) Oh! You-you think you can be beat me? Let's go! Outside!!
(joey pulls out his 3d map)
Chandler: Oh, what the hell is that?
Joey: It's London, baby! All right, the hotel's here. Wait. No, we wanna go... No. I know. I'm gonna have to go into the map. (So Joey literally steps into the map.)
Chandler: Okay, if you see a little version of me in there? Kill it!
- Friends, Season 5
Joey: All right, I'm gonna go say hi the chick and the duck.
Phoebe: Oh, me too!
Joey: Why would you need to say hi to them, you've been feeding them for four days?
Phoebe: Oh right, maybe I'll just go home.
Chandler: You got your passport?
Joey: Yeah, in my third drawer on my dresser. You don't want to lose that.
Joey: Ohh!! (Runs to his room.)
Chandler: There it is.
Chandler: Oh, she's got you running errands, y'know, picking up wedding dresses... (Laughs and makes like Indiana Jones and his whip) Wah-pah!
Ross: What's wah-pah?
Chandler: Y'know, whipped! Wah-pah!
Joey: That's not whipped! Whipped is wh-tcssh!
Chandler: That's what I did. Wah-pah!
Joey: You can't do anything!