Joey : You can't just give up! Is that what a dinosaur would do?
Ross : What?
Joey : Dude, I'm just trying to speak your language
Doctor : Well, you don't have that much time to relax. The other one will be along in a minute.
Monica : I... I'm sorry, who should be along in a what now?
Doctor : The next baby should be along in a minute.
Monica : We only ordered one!
Doctor : You know it's twins, right?
Chandler : Oh, yeah! These are the faces of two people in the know!
Chandler : So, ah... Any plans for the summer?
Erica : I don't know. Maybe church-camp?
Chandler : Hah. May not wanna mention this. So, you ever wonder which is worse, you know; going through labor or getting kicked in the nuts?
Erica : What?
Chandler : Well, it's just interesting. You know, because no one will ever know, because no one can experience both. One of life's great, unanswerable questions. I mean, who knows? Maybe there's something even more painful than those things? Like this.
Rachel : You really think I didn't say goodbye to you because I don't care?
Ross : That's what it seemed like.
Rachel : I cannot believe that after ten years, you do not know ONE thing about me.
Ross : Fine, then why didn't you say something?
Rachel : Because it is too damn hard Ross. I can't even begin to explain to you how much I'm gonna miss you. When I think about not seeing you every day, it makes me not want to go... Okay, so if you think that I didn't say goodbye to you because you don't mean as much to me as everybody else, you're wrong. It's because you mean more to me. So there, all right, there's your goodbye.
Rachel: Ross, Just so you know... With us... it's never off the table
- Friends, Season 10Ross: And I'm Doctor Ross Geller.
Rachel: Ross, please, this is a hospital, ok? That actually means something here.
Chandler: This is like figure skating team all over again. (Phoebe and Ross glare at him astonished) I mean synchronized swimming. (they continue to glare) I mean- I mean the balance beam. (to Ross) Help me!
Ross: FOOTBALL!
Chandler: Thank you.
Gene: You put this in your coffee.
Joey: A spoon. Your hands. Your face!
Gene: It's white!
Joey: Paper, snow, a ghost!
Gene: It's heavier then milk!
Joey: A rock, a dog, the earth.
Ross: Hey, there's Missy Goldberg. You gotta remember her.
Chandler: Sure, nice.
Ross: Dude. You're married to my sister.
Chandler: You're right, by saying "nice" I'm virtually licking her.
Rachel: Oh God. What about you, Joe? What would you give up, sex or food?
Joey: Uhm... oh... I don't know, it's too hard.
Rachel: No, you gotta pick one!
Joey: Oh... food. No, sex. Food! Sex! Food! Se-I don't know! Good God, I don't know, I want girls on bread!
Erica: Reverend, can I ask? Does the bible say anything about adoption?
Monica: It says "Do it!" And behold she did adopt unto them a baby. And it was good.\
Erica: Wow.
Chandler: Yeah, wow.
Phoebe: That's it? That's why you won't go out with her again? So, she took some fries, big deal!
Joey: Hey, hey, look! It's not about a few fries... it's about what the fries represent.
Phoebe: What?
Joey: ALL FOOD
[Monica slides a piece of turkey under the door]
Ross: How are we gonna decide who gets this?
Joey: (holds his fist up) WATER BALLOON
Phoebe: Because you'll date her once, sleep with her and then forget she exists!
Joey: Oh, name one friend of yours that I did that with.
Phoebe: Mandy.
Joey: Mandy, uh? Uh... really hot blonde, big boobs?
Phoebe: No.
Joey: I know why I don't remember her, huh? (he winks at Rachel)
Rachel: Do you think I'm someone else?
Joey: But you called me 'Bert'!? That's our code word for danger!
Chandler: We don't have a code word.
Joey: We don't? We really should. From now on, 'Bert' will be our code word for danger
Chandler: Oh yeah! He has a caretaker. His older brother... Ernie.
Laura: Bert and Ernie!
Chandler: You can't make this stuff up!
Laura: What's going on?
Chandler: Oh, just like I said. That crazy... Bert... roaming the halls. (Joey bangs on the door again)
Joey: Guys!?
Monica: Keep on roaming Bert! We don't want any crazy today!
Rachel: Yes, I was 4 years old and I was on the swing and then all of a sudden my hair got tangled in the chain. And to get me out my mom had to-had to cut a big chunk of my hair! (crying) And it was uneven for weeks!
Ross: And you made it through that? I wonder who's gonna play you in the movie!
Rachel: Ok, fine! You can make fun of me. I do not want Emma going there. And I was thinking Claire Danes.
Ross: Look, I'm sorry to hear about your tragedy, ok? But the swings are perfectly safe, and besides Emma loves them.You know what, you should come with us and you'll see!
Rachel: Ross, those things go like 40 miles an hour! Ok? When you're... and there is that moment when you are at the top, when you just don't know if you're gonna return back to earth!
Ross: Space is filled with orbiting children.
Joey: What do you mean? I can do anything, I'm a chameleon! Huh? (he mimes an old man with a beard) I'm old! (then he yawns) I'm tired! (then he mimes someone who's hot...) Hey, I'm hot (...and cold) I'm cold!! Huh?? Come on! What can't I do?
Chandler: First of all. Bravo.
Chandler: Joey, we would've asked you, we just thought you wouldn't be interested.
Monica: Yeah, it's just we don't think of you as really being so much "with the words".
Joey: Whoo-weh hey weh-hey whoo hey!!
Monica: Clearly we were wrong.
Ross: Ask them if it would be faster if we cut the baby's face off the penis, so we can put it on the bunny. (pause). That is a weird sentence!
- Friends, Season 10Monica: No! no! Let's figure out a fair way to decide who's staying.
Joey: Oh! I got it! Ok, everyone pick a number from one to ten. Alright? Whoever gets the highest number gets to go first.
Monica: (She gives Joey a you-are-so-stupid-look) Ok, ten.
Joey: Okay, Monica picks ten, I call nine! Anyone else?
Phoebe: No, lets just draw straws.
Joey: Or.. we could flip a coin, and then multiply the..
Chandler: I'm begging you stop.
Ross: You sprayed my front twice!
Assistant: You've never turned?
Ross: No, I barely even got to three Mississippi.
Assistant: Mississippi? I said count to five'!
Ross: Mississippilesly?
Rachel: Ok well, well I'm really, I'm sorry about that Joey, but do you think that maybe on some level, you don't want to take off my bra?
Joey: NAH! I don't have another level!!
Ross: And to love. Ah, love. L-O-V-E, love. L is for life. And what is life without love?
Rachel: Oh my god, are we supposed to answer?
Ross: O is for "oh, wow!"