Chandler: What'd you rent?
Joey:Die Hard 2.
Chandler: (looking at the tape) Joey, this is Die Hard 1 again.
Joey: Oh, well we watch it a second time and its Die Hard 2!
Chandler: No, we're playing this game I learned at work. You have to name all the states in six minutes.
Ross: What? That's like insanely easy!
Chandler: Now, that's a lot harder than it sounds. You always forget at least one, or in some cases... fourteen (looks over to Monica).
Monica: It's a stupid game and I wasn't playing against other people, so technically I didn't lose.
Ross: What? You forgot fourteen states?
Monica: Nobody cares about the Dakotas.
Joey: Okay, all right, this is how it’s going to work. We’re gonna give you hypothetical maid of honor situations and you will be scored on a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being the highest.
Ross: No, 10 is the highest.
Joey: Why is 10 the highest?
Ross: Because it’s the highest.
Joey: Oh hey, you’ve done this before Ross, well what did you say when you made up your vows?
Ross: Well with Carol, I promised never to love another woman until the day I die. She made no such promise.
Joey: So you're playing a little Playstation, huh? That's whack! Playstation is whack! 'Sup with the whack Playstation, 'sup?! Huh? Come on, am I 19 or what?!
Chandler: Yes, on a scale from 1 to 10, 10 being the dumbest a person can look, you are definitely 19.
Joey: Look at this clown! Just because he’s got a bigger boat he thinks he can take up the whole river. Get out of the way jackass! Who names his boat Coast Guard anyway?
Rachel: Joey, that is the coast guard
Joey: Then what's he doin out here? the coast is all the way over there!
Joey: But I-I-I can't stay too long, I gotta get up early for a commercial audition tomorrow and I gotta look good. I'm supposed to be playing a 19-year-old. (Everyone stops in their tracks upon hearing this.) What?
Chandler: So when you said, "Get up early," did you mean 1986?
Monica: Chandler... In all my life... I never thought I would be so lucky. (Starting to cry.) As to...fall in love with my best...my best... There's a reason why girls don't do this!
Chandler: Okay! Okay! Oh God, I thought... (Starting to cry, pauses) Wait a minute, I-I can do this. I thought that it mattered what I said or where I said it. Then I realized the only thing that matters is that you, you make me happier than I ever thought I could be. And if you'll let me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way. Monica, will you marry me?
(Joey dressed as a captain for his new boat)
Joey: Where the hell have you been?!
Chandler: I was making a coconut phone with the professor.
Joey: Richard told Monica he wants to marry her!
Chandler: What?!
Joey: Yeah! Yeah, I've been trying to find ya to tell to stop messing with her and maybe I would have if these (lifts a leg) damn boat shoes wouldn't keep flying off!
Chandler: My -- Oh my God!
Joey: I know! They suck!!
Chandler: He's not supposed to ask my girlfriend to marry him! I'm supposed to do that!
Joey: I know!
Chandler: Well what... Y'know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna go over there; I'm gonna kick his ass! (Pause) Will you help me?!
Joey: Look, Chandler I don't think us getting our asses kicked is a solution. Okay? Just go and find Monica!
Chandler: Okay
Joey: Dude-dude-dude!
Chandler: What?!
Joey: Let me know about that coconut phone, it might great for the boat.
Monica: Well, uh y’know, our guy works with Chandler and he’s really nice and smart and he’s a great dresser!
Phoebe: Have you seen your guy’s body?
Chandler: No, our guy is just a floating head.
Ross: God that is the most beautiful engagement ring ever!
Rachel: Yeah? Well, you should know. You’ve bought like a billion of ‘em.
Ross; Yeah... you didn't get one
Paul: Okay. Chandler, did your dad ever hug you?
Chandler: No, did he hug you?!
Paul: No! No! It’s just that, my dad never did. I miss my dad.
Chandler: Well, you can see my dad in Vegas kissing other dads
Chandler: Oh my God that's it, that's the ring! How much is it?
Phoebe: Chandler, I-I will handle this! How much is it?
Male Jeweler: 8,600.
Phoebe: We will give you $10.
Male Jeweler: Are you interested in this ring?!
Chandler: Yes! Yes, but I can only pay $8,000.
Male Jeweler: Okay, I can let it go at eight.
Phoebe: We stand firm at $10.
Joey: No! No! No! For my new fridge -- our new fridge!
Chandler:Our new fridge? I don't live here anymore.
Joey: So what? Look, suppose we were a divorced couple.
Chandler: Uh-huh.
Joey: And I got custody of the kid, right? Now suppose the kid dies and-and I gotta buy a new kid.
Chandler: Okay...
Joey: Give me $400!
The Doctor: Joey and Tony Tribbiani.
Joey: That’s us.
The Doctor: But uh, this is a study for identical twins.
Joey: That’s right, $2,000.
The Doctor: But, you’re not identical twins.
Joey: Damnit Carl!
Joey: You didn’t cry when Bambi’s mother died?
Chandler: Yes it was very sad when the guy stopped drawing the deer!
Rachel: …I am jealous of her?! I mean who does she think she is?! Princess Caroline?!
Monica: You’re jealous of Princess Caroline?
Rachel: Do I have my own castle?
Monica: (wiping her nose) Are you saying that you don't wanna get with this?
Chandler: Yeah, I don't think you should say that even when you're healthy.
Ross: How was I supposed to know we'd end up being friends after college, let alone you-you would be living with my sister?
Chandler: What about all that “friends forever” stuff?
Ross: I don't know, I-I was all high.
Ross: Oh, but-but it is, uh, it's just like the first Thanksgiving, when the Indians and the Pilgrims uh, sat down to dinner.
Joey: Yeah, yeah, and the Indians taught the Pilgrims what it meant to be hot in the new world!
Janine: No no no no, it's potpourri. You're supposed to smell it
Joey: (Joey takes a big whiff of the potpourri.)Well that's like summer in a bowl.
Joey: Hey Chandler. Come on in. We're knitting pot holders.
Chandler: No thanks, Josephine.
handler: You're turning into a woman.
Joey: No I'm not. Why would you say that? That's just mean.
Chandler: Now I've upset you? What did I say?
Joey: It's not what you said. It's the way you said it....Oh My God, I'm a woman!!!
Joey: Hey babies! Oh, I'm having the best morning. That uh, that Porsche I've got the keys too, still there!
Chandler: Shocking! Since you still have the keys.
Chandler: Y'know those big-big uh, road signs that say "Merge?"
Monica: Uh-hmm.
Chandler: Y'know? So I was thinking that we could get one of those signs and hang it over our bed. Because, that's you and I together! Merge!
Monica: Oh my God! I love that!
Chandler: Really?!
Monica: Uh, no!!