Rachel: Ohh... Oh, honey here. Take it all. (Pours the entire large bowl into her bag and closes the door.) Monica! We need more candy?
Monica: What?! There's only been like four kids.
Rachel: Yeah I know, but one of them just said that she loved me so I just gave her everything.
Phoebe: No wonder your pregnant.
Chandler: (entering from the bedroom wearing a big, pink bunny costume) Monica! Can I talk to you for a second? Listen, I appreciate you getting me the costume...
Rachel: (To Monica) Oh, you did this to him?
Monica: What?! I thought he'd love it! His favorite kid's book was the Velveteen Rabbit!
Chandler: The Velveteen Rabbit was brown and white!
Monica: Well, it was either a pink bunny or no bunny at all.
Chandler: No bunny at all!! Always no bunny at all!!!
Chandler: I still don't get it, we didn't do anything wrong.
Monica: I know! Although, you did tell an awful lot of jokes.
Chandler: I thought you said those jokes were funny. Joke! Joke! Joke!
Monica: (rolling her head from side to side) Joke. Joke. Blah! Blah!
Chandler: Well maybe it was all of your questions.
Monica: What about my questions?
Chandler: The sheer volume, it was like flying with the Riddler!
Monica: Oh, I'm sorry. Was that another joke?
Chandler: (angrily) Was that another question?
Rachel: Hey Joey, what would you do if someone that you slept with told you that she was pregnant?
Joey: (warily) Who called here? Did she sound blond? Huh? Did-did-did she have an accent? I gotta make a call! (Starts to leave) I shoulda never walked into that Sunglass Hut
Ross: Yeah but uh... Okay, okay look you guys know that Rachel and I slept together, but there's something else. Rachel's pregnant.
Joey: (simultaneously) Oh my God!!! I can't believe that!!
Phoebe: (simultaneously) Holy mother of God!!!
Ross: With my child.
Phoebe: That is brand new information!!
Ross: You already know don't you?
Phoebe: A little
Ross: Yeah, I need uh... I'm just -- I don't know -- I don't understand, umm, how this happened? We-we used a condom.
Rachel: I know. I know, but y'know condoms only work like 97% of the time.
Ross: What? What? What?!! Well they should put that on the box!!!
Rachel: They do!
Ross: No they don't!!! (He runs to the bedroom to check and returns with his box of condoms.) Well they should put it in huge black letters!!!!
Rachel: Okay Ross come on let's just forget about the condoms.
Ross: Oh well I may as well have!
Joey: Umm, now uh... It's a scary world out there, especially for a single mom. Y'know, now I always thought you and I had a special bond so... (He goes to one knee and pulls out a ring.) Phoebe Buffay, will you marry me?
Monica: Oh my God! Joey!
Phoebe: Hell yeah! I'll marry you!
Monica: You can't marry him!
Phoebe: Hey lady, your day's over! It's my turn!
Monica: Phoebe!
Joey: Why?! Why can't she marry me?!
Phoebe: I can and I will! (Kisses him.)
Monica: She's not pregnant. It's Rachel. Rachel's the one who's pregnant.
Joey: Oh my God.
Phoebe: Hey!
Monica: Phoebe I think he would notice if you didn't have a baby in nine months!
Phoebe: It's Joey!
Joey: About a month ago this guy spent the night with Rachel, I didn’t see who it was but… (He walks out and closes the door.)
Phoebe: Was that story over?
Monica: Chandler, for so long I…I wondered if I would ever find my prince, my soul mate. Then three years ago, at another wedding I turned to a friend for comfort. And in stead, I found everything that I’d ever been looking for my whole life. And now…here we are…with our future before us…and I only want to spend it with you, my prince, my soul mate, my friend. Unless you don’t want to. You go!
Chandler: Monica, I thought this was going to be the most difficult thing I ever had to do. But when I saw you walking down that aisle I realized how simple it was. I love you. Any surprises that come our way, it's okay, because I will always love you. You are the person I was meant to spend the rest of my life with.
Chandler: (motioning towards the wedding dress) Is this new?
Monica: Not now!
Chandler: Right
Joey: Yeah! Yeah y'know, like warm up the crowd. Ask 'em where they're from. 'Cause in Joey Tribbiani you get a minister and you get an entertainer. I'm a minis-tainer! (Rapping) There is no-one better! There is no-one greater
- Friends, Season 7
Chandler: Please, don't take away my cool thing. Please?! Pretty please?!
Ross: Pretty please? Not very uh, 007.
Chandler: Look, it's my wedding day okay? If you were getting married I would never do anything to upset you.
Ross: When I got married you slept with my sister.
Chandler: That was pretty 007.
Chandler: You mean these tuxes have been down the red carpet with people yelling, "Who are you wearing?! You look fabulous!"
Rachel: Honey, might I suggest watching a little more ESPN and a little less E!?
Rachel: (reading a tag) This one is uh Paul O'Neil.
Chandler: Who's that?
Rachel: He plays for the Yankees. Seriously, ESPN! Just once and a while, have it on in the background.
(Ross suddenly lunges forward in an attempt to kiss his cousin)
Cassie: Hey! What the hell are you doing?!
Ross: (in his head) Say something clever! Okay, doesn't have to be clever, it just has to be words. Say some words. Any words will do. Oh my God! This is the longest that anyone has not talked ever! There is nothing you can say to make this worse!! So just say something!! (To her) I-I, I uh haven't had sex in a very long time. (In his head) Yeah, you really shouldn't have said anything.
Chandler: Because you (Points to Joey) broke a chair and you (Points to Rachel) broke a chair! The only one around here that hasn't broke a chair, is me!
Rachel: No-no-no! This chair's not going anywhere.
Chandler: Well, where's the logic in that?!
Rachel: The logic is, that there are two of us and we are both strong enough to break a chair in half!
Chandler: So Joey breaks my chair and I get nothing!
Joey: That's right!
Chandler: What are you guys? Like a gang or something?!
Joey: Yeah! We are!
Rachel: We're the Cobras!
Rachel: Come on Ross give me the keys! Monica does not know what she’s talking about! I am an excellent driver!
Ross: You’re fast and irresponsible. That adds up to a bad driver.
Rachel: Well in High School, that added up to head cheerleader.
Phoebe: Joey, she's so cool. She speaks four languages.
Joey: Man, do you know what guys want!
Monica: Well, she cornered me! She asked if the wedding was in town! I mean, what was I supposed to do?!
Chandler: Lie!!! How hard is that?! The check's in the mail! Oh your baby is so cute! I can't wait to read your book, Ross
Joey: Fine! Take their advice. No one ever listens to me. When the package is this pretty, no one cares what's inside.
- Friends, Season 7
Joey: All right, Rach, the big question is, does he like you? All right? Because if he doesn't like you, this is all a moo-point.
Rachel: Huh. A moo-point?
Joey: Yeah, it's like a cow's opinion. It just doesn't matter. It's moo.
Joey: Look, Chandler, I told you, never tell anyone about this dog thing. It's like Ross not likin' ice cream.
Phoebe: You don't like ice cream?
Ross: It's too cold.
(playing states game)
Joey: Utah? Ross, you can't just make stuff up!
Rachel: Wait a minute. Do you not like all dogs? I mean, not even puppies?
Chandler: (scared) Is there a puppy here?
Tag: You don't like puppies?
Chandler: (to Tag) Okay, you are new!
Joey: Say hello to the new champ of Chandler's dumb states game.
Ross: Wow, how many have you got?
Joey: Fifty-six!
Ross: All right! All right! Chandler entered a Vanilla Ice look-a-like contest and won!
Chandler: Ross came in fourth and cried!