Quotes in category: “TV Shows”:

Chandler: All right look, forget it, forget it. You told her you love her, it's over.
Monica: It is not over! You're over!
Chandler: What?
Monica: You know!
Chandler: Okay. Good one.

Phoebe: (entering, wearing Santa pants) Hello!
Chandler: Ho! Ho! Ho!
Phoebe: Excuse me.
Chandler: Your pants!
Phoebe: Oh, yeah! You like 'em? I just, I went to a used clothes store and got a bunch of maternity stuff. These are sooo comfortable!
Joey: Uhh, Pheebs, those are uh, those are Santa pants.
Phoebe: What?
Chandler: Santa pants. Santa Claus's pants.

Phoebe: Alright, we really weren’t great at being guys but do you know why? Because we’re girls. And do you know what girls are good at?
Chandler: Stripping!!!

Chandler: Where are the guys? I’m ready to get drunk and see some strippers. 
Monica: It’s 930 in the morning
Chandler: Well they got a breakfast buffet

Rachel: Okay! No accountants. Oh, and no one from like legal. I don't like guys with boring jobs.
Chandler: Oh and Ross was like what? A lion tamer?

Ross: Gandolf the wizard. Hello! Didn't you read Lord of the Rings in high school?
Joey: No, I had sex in high school

Chandler: You know, you have goals. You have dreams. I don't have a dream.
Ross: Ah, the lesser-known "I don't have a dream" speech.

Chandler: I hate her. Well, I don’t hate her… I love her. This is all my fault really.

Chandler: That's not backing me up! Look, you said with the off-stage and the heat, and the onstage and the heat.
Joey: Whoa-whoa, that-that was just a theory! There's a lot of theories that didn't pan out. The lone gunman. Communism. Geometry.
Chandler: Oh my God!!

Chandler: Screw the Knicks!
Joey: Whoa!
Chandler: I didn’t mean that. I just meant that the apartment is worth so much more.
Joey: Huh.
Chandler: And the Knicks rule all.
Joey: Yeah, the Knicks rule all

Monica: You guys are dead, I am so good at lighting rounds.
Chandler: I majored in lightning rounds. All right, we're gonna destroy you.
Monica: Huh, wanna bet?
Chandler: Well, I'm so confused as to what we've been doing so far...

Ross: Every week, the TV Guide comes to Chandler and Joey's apartment. What name appears on the address label?
Rachel: Chandler gets it! It's Chandler Bing!
Monica: No!!
Ross: I'm afraid the TV Guide comes to Chinandolor Bong.
Monica: I knew that! Rachel! Use you're head!
Chandler: Actually, it's Miss Chinandolor Bong.

Monica: How desperate am I?
Rachel: Oh! Good thing Chandler’s not here, he always wins at this game

Rachel: Ohhh! I can’t believe this, all I wanted was a few hours outside of work to see Joshua, so he can go ahead and start falling in love with me.
Phoebe: Aww, Pheebs.
Rachel: Honey, that’s your name.
Phoebe: That’s short for Phoebe?! I thought that was just what we called each other!

Monica: Come on, no peeking! 
Chandler: Our eyes are closed and we're about to cross the street. Very good

Monica: Fine! Judge all you want to but, married a lesbian, left a man at the altar, fell in love with a gay ice dancer, threw a girl's wooden leg in a fire, live in a box!!

Phoebe: Josh?
Rachel: Joshua
Monica: What he doesn’t like josh?
Rachel: No, I don’t.

Phoebe: this year maybe we could do secret Santa, and then we each only buy one gift. And-and there's the added mystery of who gets who.
Ross: Who gets whom. (They all look at him.) I don't know why I do that.

Joey: Over the line?! You-you're-you're so far past the line, that you-you can't even see the line! The line is a dot to you!

Joey: And what?! Did you sleep with her?!
Chandler: No! No! No! I just kissed her.
Joey: What?!! That's even worse!!
Chandler: How is that worse?!
Joey: I don't know! But it's the same!

Chandler: I don't know. I can't--I just, I can't get her out of my head. Y'know? I mean, I'm a very bad person. I'm a very, very bad person. I'm a horrible person. (he waits for a reaction, when he doesn't get one) No you're not Chandler! We still love you Chandler

Chandler: What the hell happened?!! How were you locked in?!! And where the hell is all of our stuff?!!
Joey: Well, this guy came by to look at the unit and-and he said he didn't think big enough to fit a grown man!
Chandler: So -- You got in voluntarily?!
Joey: I was tryin' to make a sale!! Oh, man, if I ever run into that guy again, do you know what I'm gonna do?
Chandler: BEND OVER?!!!

Monica: You went to one where you were popular, and you got to ride off Chip's motorcycle, and wear his letterman jacket. I went to one where I wore a band uniform they had to have specially made.
Rachel: They had to have that specially made?!
Monica: It was a project for one of the Home Ec classes.
Rachel: Oh my God, they told us that was for the mascot!

Rachel: Good! 'Cause I've got a product report to read, it's like eight pages, I hope I don't fall asleep.
Ross: Why? Did you write it?

Ross: The guy who took Rachel to the prom? Why is he calling you?
Monica: 'Cause I ran into him at the bank, he is still soo cute.
Ross: Monica, you're so lucky! He's like the most popular guy in school!!
Monica: I know!! (on phone) Chip? Hi! It's Monica. (listens) 'Kay. (listens) 'Kay. (listens) Okay. (listens) Okay, good-bye.- Oh my God, we just had the best conversation!!